It's BACON!

Bacon is great and here's how to do it bachelor style. No, no, no. Not the microwave and definitely not on the oven-top.

A) Much too lazy for that.
B) Who wants to deal with grease burns? (personal pet peeve)
C) Much too lazy for the clean up.

First head to the store and pick up some spices. The key flavors your looking for is lemon, hickory, and peppery. Someone gave me a free 4-in-1 spice thing for some reason, so that's kinda how those three flavors came up. You could just substitute zest and herbs for their Chicken "Lemon Pepper & Herbs" which has got this citrus acid, lemon zest, sugar, black pepper, and salt. Other than that though, you could be creative. Substitute for the hickory flavor for coffee grounds & pepper, cayenne red pepper, chipotle pepper. You name it.

Next set the oven temp to 300° F (or 350°). Throw some tinfoil on the baking tray and lay your bacon whichever way is most space efficent. Pour the "Lemon Pepper & Herbs" liberally and toss it in the oven. But doesn't the oven have to have time to fully heat up? Listen to me. A good male does not preheat anything other than the grill. It takes longer to preheat and then cook than it does to cook while preheating. As for a timer, that's what quick 25-30 minute sitcoms are for, so you don't have to follow directions for cooking durations which are never precise anyways.

'Bout halfway through:

flip over the pieces with a fork (or fingers) and apply copious amounts of Hickory spice to the other side. That is actually a little more cooked than I typically like it halfway, so I'm obviously not gonna cook it much longer. At the end, throw the pieces on a paper tower to get the grease off, and voilà! You have chewy, spiced bacon: Extremely low-maintenance (although a bit higher than the microwave). Don't be afraid that it's underdone (those black spots are actually spice pockets). It's not and you killed all the bacteria anyways. Excess pieces throw in a Ziploc bag and use for cooking ingredients or a snack. Crumple up the tinfoil and just rinse the tray! Do whatever you want with the grease except poor down a drain.

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